Thursday, August 21, 2014

Forgive yourself if not the other guy

Holding on to grudges weighs us down and puts us in a victimized space. It's like telling the universe "things should have been different" or "he/she shouldn't have treated me that way" and saying this is saying we don't trust in the greater good of the universe. Not trusting the greater good of the universe means we are always going to fight for control and that is a lost battle the second we start out. Fact of the matter is; we have no control. We can spend our entire lives trying to orchestrate things to fit into a little box labeled "the world as I want it" but at one point or another that box is going to get ripped open by death and loss and pain and divorce and disease and a million other things that at some point or another is going to come our way whether we want it or not. Not trusting in the universe means not trusting in life. It means not trusting in ourselves. How are we ever going to create a beautiful place for ourselves when we don't trust our own abilities or even the world we live in?

Here is a truth for you: if you want to be happy, you have no other choice than to believe that it's going to take you where you need to go. Believing in the universe means believing that all things come with a higher purpose, even the hurtful stuff. Believing gives us the ability to forgive.

We all have someone we need to forgive. Something we need to simply let go of. It could be a family member that's did us wrong in the past or a friend that made a hurtful remark. Sometimes the person we need to forgive the most is no one other than ourselves.

Everyone does their absolute best with what they've got. Everyone. Even your parents. No matter what happened to you when you were little, everyone involved did the best they could with what they had. If they could have done better they would have. True Forgiveness comes from you - you don't need to hear an "I'm sorry" to let go and move on. So look deeply into your heart and forgive. Forgive the world. Forgive yourself. It will set you free.

Wednesday, April 9, 2014

Take a break

The man with the heavy beard said, What do you think, are you living your life?
I was taken aback. In the umpteen interviews I had been to in the last 15 days, no one asked me about my blog. But this was not one of those normal interviews. The guy was not wearing a three piece suit. He was not clean shaven and was wearing the slippers. He didn't ask me about my academic qualifications, didn't give a fuss to the courses I have undergone. The certificates and past experiences were never even mentioned. He was not talking about anything in my resume, he was not interested in them, he was interested in the person sitting in front of him. And that scared me.

I had prepared for those tough questions, I had planned those perfect answers on career path and why this industry. But I have not though about the last time I laughed. I didn't know what to say when someone asks me, when was the last time you switched off your cell phone and just had gone to wander in the woods. And then the question came so, What do you think, are you living your life?

ME: ahh....

And I hesitated. For someone who finds it difficult to shut his mouth and be silent, didn't have words to say. But the conversation carried on, jumped here and there, from the exploits of Virat Kohli to the LOTR.

I came outside with a smile but my mind still stuck to the thought, Am I living?
I had been running here and there, running to add that extra bullet point on my resume, running to fullfil that commitment or running to a networking meet. For past two years, my life had been that and more running, adding more to my plate than it can handle, and then running again so nothing falls down.

And I think this is wrong. One should stop once in a while and think about what exactly I am doing or chuck that, just stop and smile. Enjoy what you have and the wonder that is present all around you. And society should support them. I think there should be a lot of respect for those who take time for themselves whether it be for health reasons, family reasons, or just to stop in a while. There should be respect for a person who can say “nope, I can’t put that on my plate right now” because it means they are very in touch with what they need and what they can do. 

You only get one life and one body. You have to learn to respect the limits. And you should respect those bold enough to know those limits.

Sunday, November 17, 2013

And we thought, we are safe in here...

Japanese artist Isao Hashimoto has created a beautiful, undeniably scary time-lapse map of the 2053 nuclear explosions which have taken place between 1945 and 1998, beginning with the Manhattan Project's "Trinity" test near Los Alamos and concluding with Pakistan's nuclear tests in May of 1998. This leaves out North Korea's two alleged nuclear tests in this past decade (the legitimacy of both of which is not 100% clear).

Each nation gets a blip and a flashing dot on the map whenever they detonate a nuclear weapon, with a running tally kept on the top and bottom bars of the screen. Hashimoto, who began the project in 2003, says that he created it with the goal of showing"the fear and folly of nuclear weapons." It starts really slow — if you want to see real action, skip ahead to 1962 or so — but the buildup becomes overwhelming.


[ Source: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9U8CZAKSsNA ]

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This video shows the true picture of the delicate position we sit in today. The very nuclear warheads lying in all other parts of the world, that were developed for our safety pose a serious threat to the existence of humanity. We are constantly told about the dangers of Global Warming, but what about these. A single mistake, a push of button or controls in the hand of an anti-society element, and that's it. The game is finished.

And we thought the ploys we see in the action movies are not possible, and we though we are safe in here...

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

Marriage Isn’t For You

Recently stumbled across this post and till the time I finished this small post by +Seth Adam Smith, it  had put a smile across my face. Thank you Seth for this beautiful post.
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Having been married only a year and a half, I’ve recently come to the conclusion that marriage isn’t for me.
Now before you start making assumptions, keep reading.

I met my wife in high school when we were 15 years old. We were friends for ten years until…until we decided no longer wanted to be just friends. :) I strongly recommend that best friends fall in love. Good times will be had by all.

Nevertheless, falling in love with my best friend did not prevent me from having certain fears and anxieties about getting married. The nearer Kim and I approached the decision to marry, the more I was filled with a paralyzing fear. Was I ready? Was I making the right choice? Was Kim the right person to marry? Would she make me happy?

Then, one fateful night, I shared these thoughts and concerns with my dad. Perhaps each of us have moments in our lives when it feels like time slows down or the air becomes still and everything around us seems to draw in, marking that moment as one we will never forget.

My dad giving his response to my concerns was such a moment for me. With a knowing smile he said, “Seth, you’re being totally selfish. So I’m going to make this really simple: marriage isn't for you. You don’t marry to make yourself happy, you marry to make someone else happy. More than that, your marriage isn't for yourself, you’re marrying for a family. Not just for the in-laws and all of that nonsense, but for your future children. Who do you want to help you raise them? Who do you want to influence them? Marriage isn't for you. It’s not about you. Marriage is about the person you married.”

It was in that very moment that I knew that Kim was the right person to marry. I realized that I wanted to make her happy; to see her smile every day, to make her laugh every day. I wanted to be a part of her family, and my family wanted her to be a part of ours. And thinking back on all the times I had seen her play with my nieces, I knew that she was the one with whom I wanted to build our own family.

My father’s advice was both shocking and revelatory. It went against the grain of today’s “Walmart philosophy”, which is if it doesn't make you happy, you can take it back and get a new one.

No, a true marriage (and true love) is never about you. It’s about the person you love—their wants, their needs, their hopes, and their dreams. Selfishness demands, “What’s in it for me?”, while Love asks, “What can I give?”


Some time ago, my wife showed me what it means to love selflessly. For many months, my heart had been hardening with a mixture of fear and resentment. Then, after the pressure had built up to where neither of us could stand it, emotions erupted. I was callous. I was selfish.

But instead of matching my selfishness, Kim did something beyond wonderful—she showed an outpouring of love. Laying aside all of the pain and anguish I had caused her, she lovingly took me in her arms and soothed my soul.

Marriage is about family.

I realized that I had forgotten my dad’s advice. While Kim’s side of the marriage had been to love me, my side of the marriage had become all about me. This awful realization brought me to tears, and I promised my wife that I would try to be better.

To all who are reading this article—married, almost married, single, or even the sworn bachelor or bachelorette—I want you to know that marriage isn't for you. No true relationship of love is for you. Love is about the person you love.

And, paradoxically, the more you truly love that person, the more love you receive. And not just from your significant other, but from their friends and their family and thousands of others you never would have met had your love remained self-centered.

Truly, love and marriage isn’t for you. It’s for others.